With the exception of things that occur in nature, most problems involve people.

Whether the problems are political, business or personal, the one thing that they have in common is people. The problem may be rooted in personality, culture, history, or any number of other sources, but one thing is for sure, there’s people involved. And when there’s people involved, there’s a flow of opinions, emotions and attitudes that are involved in any given moment. Very often we are not even consciously aware of them.

The solution to most problems starts with a calm and rational look at what we perceive the problem to be. Then take an honest look at what core need is being impacted. For example, it may be ego or feeling appreciated. This causes you to be aware that what you are really reacting to is what you perceive as a threat or an offence. Now you are in a position to choose your reaction. Escalate, or deescalate.

If you want to solve the problem you need to practice this approach. If you do not want to solve the problem you still have that choice. But at least now it is a choice. And that gives you more power than most people have.